The Secret Life of Artists
An Art School Diary
Photography by Cam Schiller
Bennington, Vermont, USA
Photographer Cam Schiller looks back at her art school years with melancholy, love, and vulnerability.
“When I was a teenager, my parents got me my first DSLR. I took this to every social gathering: I was so excited to get high quality photos of me and my friends— a major upgrade to my friend’s early flip-phone cameras. I would always post the photos on Facebook the morning after, and the posts would instantly blow up. I eventually switched to film photography, which really transformed my connection to the medium onto a whole new level. Sometimes in high school I would spend my entire days in the darkroom, missing class to do so. A hobby turned obsession; working with this tangible product developed my relationship with photography into a deep love.
I never thought of my work as art until recently: my purpose probably stemmed from a necessity to hoard and hold onto memories, an inability to let go: which perhaps is one in the same. I started realizing the potential of this as more than just a hobby through the feedback I was receiving from others. My photos contained a relatable experience: A soured relationship; friends trying acid for the first time; a first kiss; sneaking out; sneaking in… These photos weren’t just of my friends, but about a relatable human experience; specifically the youth experience.”
“I attended Bennington College, a one-of-a-kind institution renowned for progressive and untraditional class structure (ref. Bret Easton Ellis). A small population of 600 kids, stuck in the middle of nowhere; an incredibly intimate environment where everyone personally knew each other, and drove each other mental all the time. It was a secret life of artists; a bubble of liberal irreverence. The nature of this small intimate environment liberated people to experiment. This bubble was bloated with self-expression; people pushing the boundaries of the socially expected, playing with gender, sexuality, and identity.
When school ended last spring, I packed up my bags and moved to London. Mainly to pursue music, but inspired by my aching soul needing change. Bennington College was an extraordinary experience, whilst simultaneously teetering on the edge of social experiment. A truly unique experience; being so potently immersed in an isolated environment gave me 10 years of wild experience instead of four. I look back at these photos with a plethora of emotions: melancholy, love, vulnerability, to name a few.
These photos are about me, but they’re also not about me. As I learned a decade ago when I started sharing my work, these photos are about everyone. As painful as some of these photos are, I put them out into the world and I don’t plan on touching them; they are not mine to touch.”
- Cam Schilla
