Inner-Strength and Self-Love

Photography By Max Mauro

Photographer Max Mauro shares their project “Until Night Comes”, documenting Queer nightlife people in their homes. Max, a drag artist as well, discusses finding confidence through drag, capturing vulnerability, and finding happiness in a dark time.

New York City, USA

What is your history as a photographer?

I actually took my first photography course in high school. Honestly, I'm not 100% sure WHERE my interest in photography stemmed from. I've always loved the way people were lit in movies and tv. Movies in general have always been a huge source of inspiration for me for as long as I can remember! But my high school had an AP Photography course so I took four semesters of photography classes in high school, then pursued a BFA in Fine Art Photography from SUNY Purchase.

How did you start performing as a drag queen? In what ways does drag allow you to express yourself?

I started performing in drag towards the end of my first year in College. A drag queen on campus named Miz Jade "put me in face" for the first time and I felt a sensation I've never experienced before, but I was feeling THE fantasy. Drag has helped me in so many ways. It's helped me find so much confidence, inner strength, and self-love. It helped me to further embrace and understand my queerness, and it was definitely a factor in helping me understand my non-binary identity.

How did you start photographing drag artists and sex workers? Including the obvious of you being a drag performer yourself, why are these people important?

I've been making pictures of drag artists ever since I started doing drag and being surrounded by them. The culture that surrounds drag artists is so fascinating to explore, and especially being a part of the community myself, I have had the privilege of documenting it and observing it at a very intimate level.

So much of the drag community is very sex positive, so sex workers (queer sex workers specifically) are a clear cousin to drag in MY queer community. But in a broader sense, I think drag artists and queer sex workers have so much in common. The same lessons I learned from drag regarding inner strength and building confidence are also traits people who do sex work imbue. And it's just so beautiful, because energy like that radiates to those around us, those we interact with. So, in my opinion, drag artists and sex workers are able to help others find their own self-love, confidence, and power. It's incredible.

Your current project, “Until Night Comes”, documents queer nightlife people in their homes. How did this project begin and why did you decide to do it?

With my current project "Until Night Comes", it started with me feeling so depressed and uninspired during the lockdown. Astoria, Queens and New York City in general, were the epicenter of the pandemic for quite a bit of last year and it took a large toll on my emotional and mental health to not be able to engage with my community. I started watching A LOT of movies, and was finding inspiration to make some self-portraits and portraits of my roommates. Then, I thought about how so many people in the nightlife world and in our queer communities must be feeling similarly to how I'm feeling, and how we were all just trying to find ways to cope and adapt to our new situations. So I started reaching out and finding people in my community that were comfortable with me coming into their spaces (with my mask on and hands washed/sanitized), hoping to capture their vulnerability, their identity, and maybe a glimpse at the ways they have found happiness in such a dark time.

What have you learned about yourself and the people you photographed during the course of this project?

I've learned so much about people's needs for serotonin, and what they would do to find it. Even the little things. It was really beautiful to see what hobbies people picked up, what videogames we were all playing, etc. I also realized how much we take being among 'good company' for granted. Sometimes people would get emotional because I would be the first real friend/acquaintance they'd have had an interaction with in weeks or months! A simple "Hi, how have you been doing?" had such an impact.

Tell the story behind one of the images

"Heaven and Their Bear, 2020." Is a photograph of my good friend Heaven in their bedroom. Their apartment was basically a warehouse kind of space, sectioned off with walls of sheetrock that created apartments. Super DIY looking, and such a cool vibe. We sat in their living room and chatted for a bit while I looked around, and decided to make the picture in their bedroom. The room was small and cramped, with a box behind the bed that said "small box" and I loved that. They told me this giant teddy bear was their cuddle buddy at night, and because it was bigger than them, they felt like they were being held while they slept, which was very comforting. Then I saw that red heart light and all the puzzle pieces clicked and I saw the picture. It was such a satisfying feeling to see that image as a positive for the first time.

As far as your general photography, how would you describe your style?

Hmm. I think I'm still developing my style, but if I had to take a crack at it now, I'd say it's mostly intimate, environmental color portraiture. Bold colors, sex positive, but also very carefully composed. I shoot primarily with a large format 4x5 camera, so it takes time to curate the image before I even click the shutter cable. Each picture can take about 10 minutes to set up, so there isn't a lot of room for spur of the moment kind of pictures. Sometimes I feel like a painter, having someone sit for me while I use my tools to create a beautiful image that represents them in that moment. But I do love juxtaposing these formal portraits with more whimsical pictures made with a 35mm camera, a quick click - then move on. My style often is represented by either people with their walls down, having a vulnerable moment with the viewer, or by people performing a character. They are entertaining to look at, but aren't trying to let you in on something deeper.

How has being a photographer changed your life?

Being a photographer, I look at the world in such a different way. I have such a strong admiration and love for light. I'm grateful every morning I wake up and see sun reflecting onto my bedroom wall from my window, with shadows dancing from moving figures outside. I watch intimate public moments between strangers as if they are a cinematic experience. I get so much joy from tuning into small details in my environment, I become overjoyed when I see a beautiful color that I like, and I go on a little quest to find other things that are that color. It makes my day to day just feel more exciting, even if I've not made a single photograph that day. I could go on and on, but I don't want people to see how much of a geek I am.

If you can photograph anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

Wow this is such a good question! I have so many names racing through my head it's difficult to pick just one! But if I had to, I would love to have photographed Donna Summer. As someone coming from the world of queer nightlife, it would have been my greatest honor to make a portrait (or several) of the queen of disco! She is a huge inspiration to my drag, but also lived such an interesting life. I could only imagine what an intimate portrait of her when she's not performing or preparing for an editorial kind of shoot would have looked like! It would be so incredible to pick her brain and feel her energy, and try to have all of it translated into a picture.

What next for you? For this project?

So as the Pandemic in New York is diminishing, people are getting vaccinated, places and events are opening back up, the project will be coming to a close soon. I'm so proud of myself for pushing through several obstacles to stay motivated and driven in order to make this series.

However, I'm grateful to say that a publishing group based in Hollywood, CA called Tired Eyes Publishing will be collaborating with me on publishing a full photobook of the series later this year. The work has so far also been featured in a few smaller zines or internet magazines. I'm not sure what I want to be photographing next. I want to try something very different and out of my comfort zone that still gives me the same joy, but I'll always be documenting the queer nightlife community on the side.

For the next couple of years, I want to create as much work as possible and create multiple opportunities for myself as an artist before applying to grad school. I want to receive an MFA in photography and eventually become a college professor. I have such a passion for teaching, so I feel like it's a perfect fit when I think of long term goals! Until then, I'm always looking for that next thing that will inspire me and lead me to something new.